im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
