Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
