I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
