i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
