just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
