I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
