The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
