you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
