i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
