After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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