don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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