its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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