smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
