i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
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