I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Randomize
