i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
