office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
