for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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