Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Randomize
