he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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