The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
