i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
