After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
