Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Found the puke drawer
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
