I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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