in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
