see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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