The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize