I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
