He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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