she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
