Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
