Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize