If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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