Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
