Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize