i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Just cropdusted the office
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
