I only kidnapped one of them. chill
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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