we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
