So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
