rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
