A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
