Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
