At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
