if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Small penises have feelings too.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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