I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
