Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
