If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
