We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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