just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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