tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
