O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
