somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Semen is not good for contacts.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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