Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
