im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
