I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I want a musical about memes.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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