she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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