Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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